to my babies.

A series of events that have pretty much spanned my lifetime have led me to write this blog.  This is certainly not what I've envisioned as a highlight of my posts, but, after a personal experience in our family so many years ago, a devastating story I recently read about on Facebook, and after seeing completely avoidable incidents running rampant in local, state, and national headlines, it's something that I suddenly feel compelled to write about and something I think needs to be said.

Thank you to my parents who were and still are always there for me.

This is a letter to Tate and any other baby I may have in the future, and to any of the babies that are in my family or that I've come across in my past as a coach, teacher, mentor or friend:

YOU ARE IMPORTANT.  YOU ARE LOVED.  YOU ARE HERE FOR A PURPOSE.

Sometimes life sucks.  No, seriously, sometimes life isn't fair.  Sometimes good things happen to bad people, and sometimes bad things happen to good people.  It's all part of a much greater plan that I hope, when the time is right and HE calls you home, that God will sit down and tell you all about.

During this blessing we call life, God is going provide for you in ways that are unimaginable.  But you will face struggles.  Every day will not be great, but if you focus on the things that are important, you will find immense blessings even in the worst of times.

You have a family that loves you more than anything.  I dedicate my life to your happiness, and I promise to do everything in my power to always protect you and to always be here for you.  There is nothing you can't come to me about.  I certainly don't have all the answers, but I will give you my best...always.  No matter how big or small, God blessed me when He allowed me to be in your life, and I owe it to Him to do everything I can to guide you to Him and keep you safe while on earth.  If God calls me home, I will watch over you from above.  I will be your Guardian Angel, and, thus, I will still forever be there when you need me.  And the same goes for your dad.

At only 8 months old, Tate, you've already had an amazing impact on the lives of so many people.  The prayers of many were answered the day you came into this world.  You are truly loved, and that will never change.

[For my non-biological babies, I LOVE YOU.  I AM HERE FOR YOU if you have a family that is not.  If you need a friend, or advice, or someone to listen, call on me.  Although I've moved, I am but a phone call away.  A Facebook message away.  An email away.  I am still here.  Come to me!  Even when things are good, I love to hear from you.  I want to be here for the good and the bad.]

Tate, as you get older, there will be times that you don't understand the decisions that your dad and I make.  You won't always agree with us.  Some days, you'll probably "hate" us.  I am sorry for that, but please know that since the day you were born, EVERYTHING we have done and continue to do is what we feel is in your best interest.

Right now, when we tell you "NO!" every five seconds, we are trying to keep you from danger.  When you are 3 and in "time-out" constantly (because, let's face it, you are your dad's son), it's because we are trying to teach you right from wrong.  When you are 9 and we don't allow you to have a social media page, even though all of your friends do, it's because we are trying to protect you.  When you are 11 and you sit the bench in your little league game and want to quit, we won't let you because you need learn about commitment and how to be a good teammate.  When you are 13 and all of your friends have the latest and greatest technology and you don't, it's because we are trying to teach you the value of money.  At 15 or 16, when you think you are mature enough to date, we will hound you and we will hover because you must learn to respect women.  When you are 17 and we don't let you spend every weekend at "that guy's" house, it's because we know what goes on there and it's not in your best interest.  When you head off to college and want to move back home after a couple of weeks and we don't allow it, it's because we are trying to teach you independence.  When you graduate college and struggle to find a job or rent an apartment, we will allow you to move back in, but you will pay rent so that you understand what the real world is really like.  When you date we will give you our honest opinion, because that's what our parents did for us, and it helped us make the decision to marry the right person.

We will do all of these things BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.  Not because we are mean, but because, again, life is hard, and these are lessons that need to be learned.  We will be strict, but fair.  We will love you no matter what, but we will have high expectations.  We will direct you to God, but know that at times you will fail.  We will be there to pick you up even when you don't want us around.  We will forgive the unforgivable and NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL will be too much for us to handle.  God chose us for you, and we will honor Him by our commitment to helping you become the best you.

Please know that nothing is too big for us.  There will be times that seem so difficult, unbearable even.  But it will get better.  IT WILL GET BETTER.  Know that you have meaning, you have purpose, you have LIFE...and that is a blessing; Make it your goal in this lifetime to not take that for granted.  Do not ever feel like you are alone, even if you are lonely.  There is a difference, and I pray that you know and understand that difference, no matter what situation you are in.  We pray for the people that will surround you in this life, that they are good influences, that they make you better, that they love you as we love you.  That those people direct you TO God, not away from Him.  That those people do not pressure you to make bad choices.  That those people do not take advantage of you.  That those people celebrate you and rejoice with you and laugh and cry with you.  Choose these people wisely, my baby.

If ever you feel as though you've lost control, come to us.  If you feel that you're empty or lost or misguided, come to us.  If you're unsure or wavering or discontent, come to us.  If you feel scared or threatened or anxious, come to us.  If you are happy and fulfilled and thriving, share it with us.  If you are in love and hopeful and looking to the future, share it with us.  We are here for you.  ALWAYS.  And so is God.  Kneel and He is with you.  There is no shame in needing help.  We all need help.

Your dad and I are far from perfect, but we are doing our best.  We love you completely and wholly and unconditionally.  Let it be known now, before social media and the internet and the world are able to get to you, whatever path you take in life, we will support you.  You be you.  Don't let the cruel people in this world have an ill effect on your self worth.  The ones who truly love you and care about you will always be in your corner.

To my babies I did not birth: Know your self worth.  Be true to who you are and embrace this life without regret.  You have made a great impact in my life, and for that I am truly thankful.  Never forget, there is always someone who cares just a quick message away.  I'm always here.

To my Tate and, God-willing, any future babies we have: You are our everything.  Come to us.

We love you.